Rant Post

Okay this is just a rant post. I really have no topic in mind, just felt like there are randoms things I would like to express.

Loud and Insensitive People

I especially can’t take people who talk loud and about stupid things I don’t care about. Especially insensitive comments. It’s okay if they say it normally. But when people talk loud, I just can’t stand it. Maybe I am sensitive to sounds. I certainly can’t stand being in a crowded place like a mall for more than 1-3 hours, it gets really uncomfortable for me for some reason. But then again if I don’t go out I feel cooped up, and 1-3 hours at a mall is a great release. But anything more will only be detrimental. I just want to say that, through my observation, people who are loud and talk before they think, are usually the most thoughtless (nice way of saying stupid) people. Since I am the direct opposite. Someone who thinks a lot before I do things, I especially don’t appreciate loud & insensitive people.

Back to Stocks

So now that my poker stint is over, although I will still play from time to time, I feel like I am going back to stock trading again. Not that it’s a ‘legit’ job. I mean it just takes 1 minute for someone to buy stocks and be “in the business”. But to buy stocks in a +EV manner, it requires a lot of research and hard work (just like anything else). If you are given $2000 to start with, it would be good to play poker. I would play at 0.25/0.50 or 0.50/1.00. With a decent winrate of 2BB/100, and playing 50,000 hands a month. You could pocket $1000 a month for a huge 50% gain. However, if you are given $20,000. You probably couldn’t replicate this same success at 5/10 (Unless you’re nanonoko) I don’t know what the word is for it, but I think it’s called ‘leverage’. Your earnings in poker can’t be leveraged with more money, as opposed to stocks. You could argue that you could leverage more money in poker, just play the higher stakes! But no, that is gambling. Trying to earn money where we don’t have an edge is risky, no matter the amount of money, but even when it is big! But with stocks, you could earn the same rate with $20,000 as with $2000. Because the average person trades for that much, and the average poker player don’t play for $20,000.

On Energy

This morning i woke up and felt really tired and with a bad mood. And these are the possible reasons:

1) only had 6 hours of sleep

2) the old air-conditioner in my room is stuffing up my nose, thus can’t breathe

3) i went to sleep the previous night hungry

So these are the possible reasons why i didn’t feel good after waking up today. Lack of sleep, lack of fresh air, lack of food. Hmm, all are possible reasons. I am more inclined to say number 2 for now, because I have been waking up with bad stuffed nose when i use the room air-condition. The lack of sleep definitely factored in to the dazed feeling, and hunger probably didn’t matter that much because i ate a donut and milk as soon i woke up.

New Specs & PSP Games

Today I am going to get myself new specs. My specs of 5 years is finally giving in. The nose support thing came off. Although i manage to glue it back on, I have thought for a long time to buy new specs. I don’t know what kind of specs to get yet, but i plan to get one of those no rim specs, i mean those lenses without a frame around it. I guess I shall call it the Bae Yong Jun specs for simplification lol.

Also i plan to get myself a bunch (prolly 20) PSP games. For all outside Indonesia who are mistakenly thinking I’m a rich brat, I am refering to pirated ISOs (not UMD) of these games which sell for USD$0.50 each and are transfered straight to the Memory Stick. I doubt I will play all the games, just want to try them out since they are highly recommended games on PSP. The games i am excited to see are: Crisis Core & Dissidia – both Final Fantasy, Monster Hunter Freedom Unite, Assasins Creed II and God of War: Chains of Olympus.

Basketball and Exercise

Wierdest thing ever. I just went to father’s friend’s house. Really nice house with cinema gym etc and there was also a basketball ring. I always wanted a basketball ring. Especially those that can be adjusted lower so i can dunk on it. Yes, wanna be like Spud Webb. There are so many things i want to improve on. Mainly basketball, dunking, bowling, pool (billiard). And the other sports i am very eager to learn are golf and cycling.

So back to the main reason. I was at the house just walking around and just sitting down at a corner, didn’t really talk to anyone. I am the interacting during activity kind of person. I would much prefer be doing something and talking at the same time instead of just talking for the sake of talking. I find very pointless sometimes and not engaging. Anyway later i saw my brother playing basketball at the ring, and i automatically joined in. It was great, my mind was totally focused on it and i was so excited. It’s been ages since i played basketball. Still can’t throw a ball straight using the normal stance as in left hand supporting, and right hand shooting. I think it’s more practical to shoot with the two hands throwing motion but i gotta learn the NBA way lol. I think the trick is to spread ur fingers out wide across the ball so it doesn’t slip away from your palm when you push it. Anyway i had a great time playing basketball, and felt engaged and good in general.

I feel good after exercising. Again i got my own reason why exercising is good. From my own observation anything that works the organs will calm the mind, i don’t know why. There are two ways, one is eating and the other exercising. When you eat, you organs are working to digest the food etc. and this expending of energy calms you down. And when you are using energy, you calm down and you can think better. Eating is the body expending energy by itself through digestion, but exercising we have to work more than just chewing and swallowing, we really got to put in effort to work our muscles. Regardless both uses up our energy, and some how calms down the mind.

I really need peace of mind more than anything. After i exercise i really feel good, like i have energy and yet calm. It’s important to have calm energy. Coz most of the time i have energy but it’s the kind of nervous energy which i think is caused by not eating on time and not exercising enough. It is so hard to think when i have this nervous energy in me. I think my friend is right when he says that we never use our energy to exercise that is why we feel pent up. I didn’t quite understand what he meant by using our energy. I thought when we get tired it’s because we “have no energy”. But now i agree with him we have to use up our body energy through exercise.

Re-love Sit’n Gos

Okay, i have been busy playing cash games all these while i have forgotten all the joy of Sit N Gos. So when my cash game isn’t going anywhere, i tried to play a couple of Sit N Gos and immediately fell in love with it again! A big part of it is because i actually have an edge in Sit’ N Gos. Whereas in cash games, i don’t know what my edge is, which probably means i don’t even have an edge. Whereas playing Sit N Gos i love how they have ranks, the blinds increase and they complete within a specific time unlike cash games which is the same blinds and goes on forever, it can get kinda boring. Sit N Gos i can safely say i have edge at the $1 level, which i can’t even say about micro limit cash games like $0.05/$0.10 on Full Tilt. I played 5 Sit N Gos today, finished 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 1st and 2nd. Which i think is pretty decent. Now i know i may not be at the level to grind cash games yet, but i can definitely grind Sit’n Gos for a stable predictable amount everyday, which is all that matters to me. I don’t care if i win $10 in cash game today because tomorrow i might lose $8, and it seems like there is no stability to it. Whereas in Sit’ N Gos i can safely say i can finish top 3 most of the time, which is at least $0.55 profit per game. Even though it’s little, it’s risk-free profit. In cash games, i don’t know, i seem to only do well when there is a fish in the game, like make some really retarded calls. I don’t have a system to play cash games yet unlike Sit’ N Gos.

In other news i have fallen half-sick yesterday and today. Not officially sick, but just feeling slightly unwell. It’s funny because the day before i fell sick i drank Vitamin C and ate a lot, and the day before i went to swim and exercised. I don’t know what caused me to fall sick, maybe because i stay in my cold room all day and don’t go out. Or maybe i don’t eat at the right time, but when i eat i force myself to eat too much. Will try to sleep earlier, my sleep resolution is the hardest to fulfill. I want to sleep at 10/11pm and wake up 6am everyday but it seems to be hard for a night owl like me. Well at least i must get some exercise in the outdoors in the morning, i think it will do me a lot of good. Looking forward to grind Sit’N Gos, and achieve stable profit everyday and build my bankroll up slowly.

Slow Played Set

I got busted by a mid set this morning. I was comfortably in the chip lead, or 2nd position, in a table of 9 players, Top three gets $4.50, $2.70, $1.80 respectively. Of course i thought my chances were good to cash out until…

Mr. X raised from 30 to 90. I called with Q 10. One other guy called.

Flop came

Q 6 7

I think for a moment and checked to trap anyone who tries to steal the pot. Guy after me checked. Mr. X bet 30 into the 300+ pot? So weak i thought, he has nothing. I raised to 120. He called. Alright maybe he has a 6 or a 7. Turn came..

10

Omg i flopped Two pair. Lets continue to bet half the pot like i only had Q pair. Bet 230, he reraised 460. Wtf?! Now i began to think of 66 or 77 or even Q6 Q7. It didn’t occur to me he had anything on the flop because he bet out the minimum – 30. Now i had a big decision, the pot is already 1000. I called. Hoping for a Q or 10 on the river, but it came a..

4

I forgot if we bet the river. Anyway Mr.X showed 66. I mucked my cards -.- Don’t give me a 10 on the turn against his set.. but i really should have folded when he reraised on the turn, but it’s difficult after i just flopped a two pair. Always respect re-raises!

This is the hand right after.. I can’t believe it. Mr.X won this again. I sort of knew he had AA when he went all in from the chip lead.. but oh well KK… how do i lay it down

I shall be more careful against a set from now on, and know that it is possible that someone who bets very small on the flop is just inducing people to call into his set.

On health: I find that i get nervy (a term i use for feeling anxious and not thinking clearly) around 12pm, 5pm and 12 midnight. I thought it was either due to hunger or lack of exercise, so to test out if hunger is the cause i ate a big meal at 9pm yesterday and i still felt nervy at midnight, so it’s not because of hunger? I haven’t exercised, but i bet i should in the morning, because after sitting infront of the computer for an hour or two after waking up i will get nervy again. If need be, I’ll exercise twice a day, as I know some people do, to keep the nerves away. If I’m nervy, i can’t even think, I’m like a vegetable/robot, i can’t think of what i want to think because my mind feels like a mess and it won’t cooperate. So being nerve-less is one of my goals, it’s going to help me feel better and think better, which is all that i ask for.

Nervous Energy

I think i have a certain nerve problem. I get restless and nervous easily. So if i sit down in front of the computer for an hour, i suddenly have this nervous energy build up in me, till it’s hard to think properly, and i lose my concentration. When it is mild, i can usually deal with it by keeping occupied like now, writing this blog while listening to an upbeat song on slightly high volume, this is all to channel away the nervous energy. However, i need to find a better way to suppress this nervous energy, one way that used to work is to work-out. When i get totally shagged after a workout, i feel depleted of nervous energy, and i concentrate way better. I guess that is why most people workout first thing in the morning, to get rid of all these nervous energy that would otherwise interfere with their work later in the day? I don’t really like the idea of going down alone to the gym and working out, cause I’m not that type who is motivated to lift weights, i feel more comfortable running. My impression with lifting weights is that it can either be really good, like i totally feel relaxed afterward, or it make me feel even more jittery, and my muscles get really sore the next day. So that’s one way to cope with having too much nervous energy, to exercise, to listen to music. However it’s not possible to exercise at night because you get all jittery and can’t sleep afterward. Some things make you even more nervous, for me it’s drinking sugary drinks like coke/green tea, it totally drives me nuts sometimes, i feel so restless it’s crazy. By then, even loud music can’t help, trying to breathe in and out can’t help, exercising at 2am is not a good idea. The only thing that helped me when this happened last night was… drinking a can of energy drink. And after i took the energy drink, it stilled my nerves, and i went to sleep easily.. wtf right.. it’s suppose to keep people awake but i use it to get me to sleep. I will try to experiment with different things to find out what works best to get rid of this nervous energy. On a site note, i just want to say that i think my nervous tendency has made me who i am, i think that my nerves has made be a quicker runner, and better sportsman in general. Also i believe my nerves has made me react to music/art/film more strongly. If you’ve watched the movie Wanted, it’s about a guy who is so nervous he finds it hard to cope in life, but his nervousness lets him do what others can’t. I totally relate to that guy, and when i see people who are more towards the wacky and restless type, i feel happy because I know I’m not the only one like this.

Health and Balance

From now I’ll make sure i get a little balance in my life. will not coop myself at home all day. i find that going out for a walk in the sunshine, breathing fresh air is a very relaxing feeling for the mind. Like i think better when i am outside walking. Whereas when i am just at home sitting down, my thought process tend to go the negative direction. I guess balance is very important for our mood. Things like eating healthy food, fruits and vegetables, drinking enough water, exercising, sleeping enough and waking up early, personal hygiene, all these are very important for our sense of well-being. Things i would avoid from now on is exercising at night (because it makes me jittery), eating fast food more than 2x a week, and taking hot shower (it blocks my nose).

I’m Never Hungry?

it’s 1:23am right, and i just realised something. I haven’t even eaten a meal today. Amazing right o.o Usually i’ll eat a meal in the late afternoon and one more for supper. But right now i’m not even hungry, tell me nothing’s wrong with me.

Morning i got hungry i ate a cookie i think. Then drank water. Settled my stomach. Then dinner i got hungry i ate like 2 cookies this time and drank water again. I just ate 2 more cookies, going to make Indomie, but I’m not exactly feeling that hungry even now.. oh gawd